Words always seem to fall so short in situations like this. They are always inadequate to express the loss, they cannot re-capture what a person meant. The warmth of his hugs. The smell of his smoky coffee-tinged breath. The depth of his caring. I cannot record my love for this man, what he meant to me, and how I feel he changed the world, but I want to try. I want to write down what I remember of him so I won't ever forget his life, or the lessons I learned from being with him. Though I never could anyway, for those lessons are in my heart.
I met Dr. Austin my first year of college, at the philosophy club meetings he so beloved. It was the first meeting of the year of the club, which basically consisted of a bunch of yahoos discussing things and watching movies. He always came a couple times a year, but mostly avoided them so as not to disrupt the natural sharing of the undergrads. I knew he was special from the first day I met him. His baggy pants and half-tucked shirt barely concealing his gentle soul. It is immediately apparent to anyone what a loving and caring person he was. His disarming nature was one of my favorite things. But this nature wasn't really something visible. It was in his attitude. You could hear it in the way he spoke, always cautious to avoid quick judgment. His genuine concern and humility could open anyone to share even the hardest things. I remember often being tempted to tell him thoughts I hadn't told very many people, things I often didn't even admit to myself.
Our friendship continued to blossom during my years at A&M. I took 2 of his classes, and he mercifully graded my mediocre philosophy writings. He liked to teach MWF at 8 AM. This wasn't a problem for him since he liked to go to bed around 8 and wake up at 4AM but it was rough for us undergrads. While he would never make attendance compulsory, he certainly appreciated those who came and would lure us in every Friday with donuts from the Shipley's by his house. In Philosophy 101 we covered the basics, mostly focusing on Plato's Dialogues. But also working through Dante's Inferno and Zen and the art of Motorcycle maintenance. In later years I took his Ancient Philosophy Class and we studied the classic works of Greek Philosophy and some of the foundational Eastern works. His grading policy was always the same a little participation, and then 2 large essays. But what made Dr. Austin's classes great was his mastery of the material, and also his openness to all kinds of viewpoints. Even viewpoints which he might have thought quite silly.
Sadly, I didn't get to take anymore of his classes, but from that point forward our friendship grew even more. I became an officer in the philosophy club. With a team of close friends and fellow officers, we began to expand what it did. He never directly told me so, but I knew it made him happy to see the club he loved so much thriving. To see people discussing philosophy during the week and even occasionally volunteering in the community and also hanging out in fellowship with each other. Philosophy club was evolving into somewhat of a fellowship club for the agnostics and milder Christians. It was certainly not as militant as breakaway or as the "atheist" club. If you know anything about A&M, you know it could be intimidating for those who don't share the majority view. We provided a place for people to be open and share, and to dissent. We had Christians, agnostics, and atheists alike and I know it thrilled Dr. Austin.
Eventually though, my time at A&M was coming to an end. I was applying to medical school, and again Dr. Austin was thrilled, but I was sad to leave. Sad to leave the club I loved. Sad to not see a man I loved nearly as often. But luckily I graduated in Dec. 2011 so I had some time to transition out of the club and out of the university while still being in College Station. My fiance (now wife) went to dinner with Dr. Austin many times that semester. We would usually go to Rosie Pho, this incredible Vietnamese place that (for some reason) is in College Station. He always told us we should meet him at Taz, another restaurant in town. Sadly, we never did. But I look fondly back on those dinners we shared. I remember with great sadness the spicy calamari he loved so much to share.
Then, we moved away. I imagine this must be one of the saddest parts of being a professor. The people you love so much leave. But Ariana and I had to go to medical school in Houston. Dr. Austin of course had written me a letter of recommendation. I actually received compliments on that letter of rec, surely not on account of my valor, but probably on account of his kindness. We would make it back to College Station just a couple more times, always trying to get dinner with him to share what was going on.
But turmoil would then strike our lives. I left medical school after the first year and everything became mixed up. I lost what I had wanted to do. I had to completely redefine who I was, and what my goals were in life. I struggled for a good bit on my own, and then I turned again to the wise man who I trusted and loved. I met with him for coffee one day at A&M (which at this point in time had a starbucks in the MSC.... wtf?). It didn't make everything better at that time, but it was just the little bit of hope I needed. He bought my coffee that day and we talked about the different options. More importantly, he reminded me of some aspects of myself I had forgotten. Like he always did. Dr. Austin brought out the best in people. And this is what I want to remember about him.
Dr. Austin, I love you and miss you. I wish you the eternal peace which I hope a good life brings. But above all, I want you to know what an impact you had on me. My experience and life would not have been the same without you.
Our friendship continued to blossom during my years at A&M. I took 2 of his classes, and he mercifully graded my mediocre philosophy writings. He liked to teach MWF at 8 AM. This wasn't a problem for him since he liked to go to bed around 8 and wake up at 4AM but it was rough for us undergrads. While he would never make attendance compulsory, he certainly appreciated those who came and would lure us in every Friday with donuts from the Shipley's by his house. In Philosophy 101 we covered the basics, mostly focusing on Plato's Dialogues. But also working through Dante's Inferno and Zen and the art of Motorcycle maintenance. In later years I took his Ancient Philosophy Class and we studied the classic works of Greek Philosophy and some of the foundational Eastern works. His grading policy was always the same a little participation, and then 2 large essays. But what made Dr. Austin's classes great was his mastery of the material, and also his openness to all kinds of viewpoints. Even viewpoints which he might have thought quite silly.
Sadly, I didn't get to take anymore of his classes, but from that point forward our friendship grew even more. I became an officer in the philosophy club. With a team of close friends and fellow officers, we began to expand what it did. He never directly told me so, but I knew it made him happy to see the club he loved so much thriving. To see people discussing philosophy during the week and even occasionally volunteering in the community and also hanging out in fellowship with each other. Philosophy club was evolving into somewhat of a fellowship club for the agnostics and milder Christians. It was certainly not as militant as breakaway or as the "atheist" club. If you know anything about A&M, you know it could be intimidating for those who don't share the majority view. We provided a place for people to be open and share, and to dissent. We had Christians, agnostics, and atheists alike and I know it thrilled Dr. Austin.
Eventually though, my time at A&M was coming to an end. I was applying to medical school, and again Dr. Austin was thrilled, but I was sad to leave. Sad to leave the club I loved. Sad to not see a man I loved nearly as often. But luckily I graduated in Dec. 2011 so I had some time to transition out of the club and out of the university while still being in College Station. My fiance (now wife) went to dinner with Dr. Austin many times that semester. We would usually go to Rosie Pho, this incredible Vietnamese place that (for some reason) is in College Station. He always told us we should meet him at Taz, another restaurant in town. Sadly, we never did. But I look fondly back on those dinners we shared. I remember with great sadness the spicy calamari he loved so much to share.
Then, we moved away. I imagine this must be one of the saddest parts of being a professor. The people you love so much leave. But Ariana and I had to go to medical school in Houston. Dr. Austin of course had written me a letter of recommendation. I actually received compliments on that letter of rec, surely not on account of my valor, but probably on account of his kindness. We would make it back to College Station just a couple more times, always trying to get dinner with him to share what was going on.
But turmoil would then strike our lives. I left medical school after the first year and everything became mixed up. I lost what I had wanted to do. I had to completely redefine who I was, and what my goals were in life. I struggled for a good bit on my own, and then I turned again to the wise man who I trusted and loved. I met with him for coffee one day at A&M (which at this point in time had a starbucks in the MSC.... wtf?). It didn't make everything better at that time, but it was just the little bit of hope I needed. He bought my coffee that day and we talked about the different options. More importantly, he reminded me of some aspects of myself I had forgotten. Like he always did. Dr. Austin brought out the best in people. And this is what I want to remember about him.
Dr. Austin, I love you and miss you. I wish you the eternal peace which I hope a good life brings. But above all, I want you to know what an impact you had on me. My experience and life would not have been the same without you.
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